Re “2v2 for gansher noobs” - Mate the way I see it YOU have your own special playlist for all the rifle ‘tactical’ play that you want. It’s called arcade and you don’t start with a gnasher.
Not to be rude, but you should consider making that your main game, or maybe moving onto one of these other tactical cover shooter that you want gears to be like.
Arguments about bouncing ran their course on the release of gears 2 when epic endorsed it with the wall slide cancel. Calling it cheating or an exploit after that point is just dumb.
Yes players are desynced, that is across the whole game and the lower your ping the more obvious it becomes. This has nothing to do with sliding. It is an issue no matter how someone moves (and sometimes when they don’t).
If I can go back to one of your earlier points about boucing being cheating - You think that players get auto-aimed shots when sliding? 
The lastest dev stream had the guy telling us how all aim assist is off when you slide, no friction, no magnetism. If anything boucing handicaps your shooting as it removes all these features.
Look I can see it’s a lost cause trying to convince you or @yeatersm that the gameplay is fine and fun when focused around cqc, but I see that this isn’t what you want to play at all.
As politely as I possibly can I would suggest that gears is not for you.
If you didn’t like this type of play for the last 14 years, why would you expect it to be different or to remove key parts of its identity now?
TC tried to change how we play, epic even tried to change how we play. Guess what?
Both games haemorrhaged players and G5 is often talked about as on the same level as Jears, with good reason.
TL:DR - You don’t want to play gears of war, you want gears to conform to your vision of it. A vision that has been outdated for 14 years.