The Monkey Initiative: Zoos provide their monkeys with copies of Gears to play Horde in the weekend!

Gears 5
#1

During the week it’s mostly regular humans who play this game. However, in the weekend all the captive monkeys are able to play Horde. I think it’s a great initiative from zoos and the accompanying willingness of TC to provide this.

Of course it’s kinda hard to train monkeys what you should do in Master Horde and things you should never do.
A Marcus using the only boomshot in locker, the one Keegan expects to use to refill his ulti ? Well, that’s just normal monkey behaviour. A Paduk using the only Salvo and then throwing it empty on the ground? Well, that’s just normal monkey behaviour. Recapping both taps in Horde Frenzy while a Lizzie is retro charging the last downed enemy? Well, that’s just normal monkey behaviour. Someone running in front if your salvo you’ve been firing for at least 5 seconds uninterrupted? Well, that’s just normal monkey behaviour. Killing yourself just after the end of the round to regain ammo and an extra weapon but never getting revived despite your tag is only 3 meter from the fab? Well, your entire team is played by monkeys.

So the lesson here is: On the weekends you shouldn’t expect anything from your team because chances are… they’re just monkeys displaying normal monkey behaviour. Just because you are playing Master doesn’t matter since monkeys don’t understand the difference between Master and Beginner. So don’t worry, expect nothing and have some fun playing with actual monkeys. It’s quite a special sight seeing these animals try to make sense of an online game. Some even try to communicate by spamming their laugh emote the whole game (since some resemble monkey noises I think): “Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Ha ha, Boo, Boo, Ha ha, Boo, Boo, Boo”.

#2

I think it’s fair to say someone isn’t have a very good time on Gears this weekend.

5 Likes
#3

Is that right? Interesting!

I’ve took note. That’s fantastic news! As long as they stay there and not in Versus.

1 Like
#4

310

1 Like
#5

Jesus. If that monkey farts, that guy is in serious trouble.

1 Like
#6

This hurts. Just finished (read: wiped on wave 12) a Master Frenzy on Allfathers because JD had to boomshot every final crawling enemy while the rest of us tried to recapture the taps. I honestly don’t know how we made it that far with the minimal power we had. The same JD kept buying sentries, then would shoot at me (Jack) to refill them. A monkey, indeed.

3 Likes
#7

There’s much wisdom in South Park. :grin:

2 Likes
#8

Sadly too true. I as host will tolerate some things. But even I have my limits. Some things are just NOT acceptable. In fact, actual monkeys would still be far easier and more fun to play with.

(BTW Marcus can refill his living legend way faster with a few points to the perk and then use a boomshot /salvo to get that damage to get his ult up. Its nice when you dont force people to skip and share you ult like a marcus should. But this is ok ONLY as long as heavy weapons and explosives people have theirs first.)